Before-I-turn-50-list.

 My good friend is right now in training to run the Hartford Marathon in October.  She ran 1/2 marathon last year and is now challenging herself to a full. I am so proud of her and I do admire her stamina. She told me that to make it a little easier on herself, she has decided to run for a charity. That way, when it become tough on the course, the thought of that charity will keep her going/running.

Talking with her about running and setting goals made me think about and revisit a list I made for myself. 

 In early spring of 2007, I created a "before-I-turn-50"-list. I did it as a mind came, to keep my mind occupied with something positive, while waiting in a hospital room for my son to die. I gave myself permission to dream and just pretend that everything I wrote on that list would come true. Not really sure if I believed it, but that was my state of mind at the time, so it really didn't matter. I had often made plans, than never emerged.  I spend many countless hours in that hospital room, so I had time to come up with a good list.

I was a good mind game, I played. It helped me get through difficult days of just waiting. Life happened and Martin passed. I forgot about my happy to do list and had to focus on the tough to do list.

It is now 2012, live goes on and I had forgotten all about the list, until recently.  Not long ago, I was going through old files on my computer and I found my list. I was pleasantly surprised to see that some of the things, I had on my list had already come true, and I didn't even plan it. Some of the things on the list, was to finish my book and have it published. I did and I have. Not in Denmark as planned, but here in the US. I am very proud of that book and I know that Martin is looking down and is proud too.
Another item I could check off my list, was my dream of moving to the US. I had made a comment about moving here, not sure how, where or when, but the Universe will figure that out. 
The Universe did. I am here.

  It made me think. I will turn 50 in April of 2014. That is about 1 1/2 year from now. Maybe I should take a closer look at the list and get some things crossed of. and maybe add some new things. I am already working on some of the things, such as a motorcycle ride. A friend of mine has offered me a ride. When I find the courage to do it, I will do it and  I will post pictures. A road trip is also on the list and Mike and I are talking about that. Figuring out where to go, when and more importantly, in what.  There are a few other "smaller" things on the list, which is easy to fulfill. 

To come back to my good friend, the marathon runner. Yesterday I went with her to the Y to do a workout and swim a few laps. She inspired me to add a new thing on my list.

I want to train and run a 1/2 marathon for charity, before I turn 50.

Why not go all the way and do a full marathon? you might ask.  Good and valid question. However, I know myself and I know that if I make a goal too big, I will get overwhelmed. I am aware that in order to reach a big goal, you "chop" it into smaller pieces. But right now a full marathon sounds too overwhelming for someone who is just one stage up from a couch potato.

I remember some years ago, I ran a 5K race. Well, to be perfectly honest, I also walked, but I finished and I ran more than I walked. But the feeling I got from the crowd who was cheering on, kept me going/running. I pretended they were cheering for me and it gave me a boost. I felt very proud when I passed the goal line. I felt, I accomplished something. However, I never ran another race.

I am very good at making goals for myself, but not as good to keeping them.  It is almost as if, I have a voice inside telling me, that I don't deserve it. I am not competitive, but I do want to make a difference in someone's life. It is all a mind game, and this one I intend to win, ( said the non-competitive person)

My point is, that I do want to enter some races. Start with 5K, move up to 10K and so on. I will make each one a charity run. That way I can reach a personal goal and at the same time do some good. If I do this right, I might even get some others to join me in a race or donate in my name.

I know, that when my friend is running her marathon, I will be donating in her name. Paying it forward.

It is easy for me to set a goal. Now the "fun" starts.  Better find my running shoes.

I will keep you posted.