Thursday, June 11, 2009

LOVE is spelled TIME

Everybody knows that a day is 24 hours and an hour is 60 minutes. But what is TIME?

And why does it feel so differently to us? Haven’t we all at one point uttered: I wish there was more time, or I am bored, I have too much time on my hands.

You really don’t, you still have the exactly same amount of time, it just feels that way.

The reason I am writing about this is, I am thinking a lot about time and values. Do we spend time on the things and people, which really matters to us?

Next week, the 2 year anniversary of my son’s death is coming up. Normally an anniversary is something to celebrate, but obviously not this one.

But it makes me think of the time Martin and I spent together. Almost 17 years. I was very privileged to live in a country were I was allowed to get paid full salary to be his mother and caretaker. That meant, I didn’t have to go to work and let other people look after him, after the normal 9 months maternity leave. I have always known that Martin’s time here on earth was on “borrowed” time, so I wanted to make sure that the time we spend together was quality time. I believe that nobody will say on their deathbed” I wish I spend more time in the office”!

Unfortunately many will say, I wish I had spent more time, with my family and loved ones.

I am lucky. Martin taught me about quality time while he was alive. I wish, I could have had more time, even if the time we did spend was often full of heartbreak, worry, fear, but I promised my self that even going through the worst days, some good could would come out of it. Finding good in bad. Putting your focus on the positive instead of negative.

I became very good at it. I had a lot of time to practice.

Next week it is 2 years since his death. I can’t say untimely death, because I truly believe that all timing is perfect, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.

2 years. 730 days. 17520 hours. There are days when it feels like yesterday and there are days where I just can believe so much time has passed. Where did the time go?

I have known a lot of children who has passed and many of their mothers had the child name tattooed somewhere on their body. It is a way for them to remember them by. I thought about it, but as I don’t like pain, I came up with something else. I bought a quality watch, to represent the quality time we spend together. So if you ask me what time it is, I can honestly say, it is quality time.

If you can take anything away from this, please think about what and who is important to you and make sure you let them know, every day. Never let anything be unsaid.

Spend time on the things you love to do and with the people you love.

I like spending this time writing this, so maybe you can find your own quality time and remember. LOVE is spelled TIME.

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