Saturday, May 9, 2009

Staying with my parents

I spent last week in my old home. I visited Denmark, where I was born. I stayed with my parents. Even if I am 45, I still felt like a little girl. My mother made sure I got up in time for my appointments, and when I got out of bed, breakfast was awaiting. Ahhh. It was good to be home. However it wasn’t just a social visit. I had to among other things, tell the Danish local counsel , that I was moving to the US. I have filled out form for moving before and just mailed them, but because I was leaving the country, I had to show up and do it in person. I had a strange feeling inside, when I filled out the form. Name, old Danish address, new US address. That was all ok, but when asked the reason and for how long, something changed inside me. The form asked which would apply for me. 1 going to war... no. just being married.

2 work....No. haven’t found one yet, and that wasn’t what they meant.

3 other... Yes, that must be the one. Married to an US citizen.

The next question took me by surprise. How long do you plan to be out of the country? Maybe I should call Mike and ask before I answer. But I wrote permanently. The whole thing took less than 5 minutes. What had I been so nervous about? This was just paperwork. The big move was and is inside of me.

Back out on the street, I kept thinking about how much had happened in the past 2 years. Martin’s death and everything that came with that. Having to move to a new flat. The flat I lived in was for disabled only, loosing my income, because Martin was considered my job, so I got full pay as a care taker. My van, which I loved, had to be sold. I no longer had a need for such a van. Martin was in a wheelchair, so i had needed it. As Martin was considered a job, i hadn’t had a “regular” 9-5 job in 18 years. I had a 24/7 but that doesn’t count.

Meeting Mike, falling in love, moving to US. , getting married, starting over. Not knowing any one, anything, not even where the local supermarket was. And if I did know, I couldn’t get there, because by then i didn’t have a car.

Oh yes, in between all that, having to mourn the loss of my beloved son.

Hmm. Maybe I should just take advantage of the fact, that right now I am in Denmark. So I called my mother asking when lunch would be served.

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